Self awareness in our fundraising work

Article from the Growth & Co Blog   |  Posted on July 21, 2023 by Larissa

I recently had the opportunity to attend a leadership workshop where we talked about self-awareness of our feelings. One of the tools shared during the workshop was a feelings wheel, a tool that depicts the range of human emotions and how they relate to each other. This is something I’ve been using in my personal life for a few years. It is definitely a tool I wish I had had access to when working on teams as an in-house fundraiser and one which I often recommend to others when navigating relationships and situations both personally and professionally.  

Everyone can benefit from being aware of their own feelings throughout the day, including in a fundraising setting, to have better conversation outcomes and build stronger relationships. Some examples of situations where self-awareness of your feelings can be useful are:  

• Meeting with your leader to discuss why you aren’t on target to reach goals 
• Meeting a donor to ask for a major gift and discovering they are disappointed with your organization and not ready to give 
• Navigating an interpersonal challenge with a colleague 

If you would like to gain more self-awareness of your feelings, here is an activity you can use to begin your exploration!  

• Think about a recent work experience that felt challenging. Focus first on the facts of who, what, when, where, why. For example, your boss asked why you aren’t on target to meet goals. 
• What emotions did you experience on the wheel? Pick a minimum of 5 feelings. Rate 1 out of 10 for each. With your boss, you may have felt defensive, nervous, and frozen. 
• Determine how these feelings are present in your body. Does your heart race? Do you have a tense neck or knot in your stomach? 
• What is the negative thought behind the feeling? It could be, ‘my boss thinks I’m not performing well.’ 
• What is the negative thought under that? The next thought could be, ‘other people are raising more than me.’ 
• Go deeper and ask, what is the negative thought under that? For example, ‘I’m going to get fired, I’m not good at my job, I’m not good, I’m a failure’ and so on. 
• Validate that thought or invalidate it. Look for proof for and against the thought or think about what you would tell a friend if they were going through this. 
• Create a more balanced thought. It could be, ‘although my boss will ask about why we aren’t on track to meet goal compared to last year, there are reasons why - a donor passed unexpectedly, we didn’t hold our main fundraiser because of COVID, and we are waiting on a gift agreement from large donor who got stuck out of province and will sign next week. My boss is usually supportive and understanding. I am capable of presenting this information to her and coming up with alternative sources of revenue as a solution.’ 
• Now think of feelings again and rate 1 out of 10 and the corresponding body sensations. What changes do you see?  

After doing this activity, it is far easier to have important conversations from a place of being aware of how you’re feeling in the moment and having a calmer body and mind. This results in better conversational outcomes and stronger relationships with your colleagues, donors and leadership!  

Are you looking for fundraising coaching to improve how you fundraise for your team? Get in touch!